THE "REVEALED" CARDINAL VERITIES

I. Most of the miseries of mankind have been caused by the need of most people to have an outside source convince them of their superiority to other people.

II. Those who have all the answers, especially on matters metaphysical and spiritual, should be avoided, held suspect, or, preferably, sanctioned with extreme prejudice.

III. Life is its own justification. Life is precious, it should not be surrendered because some heathen doesn't "get it." This dictates that one be prepared to protect it at all times.

IV. No one is good because of what they DON'T DO! Good is not the absence of evil, it is its opposite.

V. God loves everyone! However, there are some he likes more than others.

VI. An unloaded gun is just a club, and not a very effective club at that.

VII. There is no such thing as a "fair fight" unless you are referring to an altercation at a carnival.

VIII. Sympathy can always be found in the dictionary between shit and syphillis.

IX. It doesn't have to make sense. In fact, it's not supposed to.

X. Bad things never happen to good people because there aren't any good people. Pray not, therefore, for justice, pray for mercy. And pray for it often.
 
 

We have limited the revealed truths to ten out of consideration for you, the seeker of wisdom. They may be changed at any time, and constitute only a fraction of the Cardinal Verities of the Synaxis Universal. As for the rest of the truths, to coin a phrase: "You can't handle the truths!" The most important thing to remember is that anyone can be wrong at any time, and they usually are. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!